Leftie on the fly...

I am a “rightie” as are the majority (70-90%) of people on the planet. I eat, write, and wave with my right hand. I can’t think of anything I do well with my left hand, other than type, which requires dexterity in both hands. Then again, typing is a learned behavior.
 
When I broke my wrist, not quite two weeks ago, I never imagined how difficult doing ordinary things could be. I seem to be able to eat with the splint in place, but I can’t seem to butter a piece of bread. I can wash my face and hands (with the splint off), but the motion of brushing my teeth is too painful, thereby forcing me to brush left-handed.

I have finger freedom to type, but I have to remove the splint to sign a check or a credit card receipt…otherwise my signature looks as illegible as most doctors. I can pick up a bottle of pop, but not a gallon of milk. Forget peeling potatoes. The motion is excruciating and the left hand is out on that score…delegation is the most practical solution.

But the things that are most difficult for me are bathroom and hygiene duties. I urge everyone who reads this to start practicing ambidexterity now. Cleaning and wiping with the non-dominant hand are very difficult and stressful and take twice as long to accomplish than under normal circumstances. 

Like the learned behavior of typing, practice makes perfect…so start switching up hands now while you have the chance. Don’t wait until fate befalls you, because being a leftie on the fly is most definitely for the birds!

Penn State and Joe Paterno

Here are my thoughts on the matter. I don’t particularly care whether the state of Pennsylvania, or any state for that matter, doesn’t consider it a crime that you don’t report child abuse. For my money, if you see a crime being perpetrated on another human being, it is your moral duty to report it to the proper authorities, i.e., the police. Even if the terms of your employment state that you report it to your superiors, I would be making that call while on the way to the police station. If the employer tells you it will be handled internally, tell them that if they demand that you not report the crime, you will see to it that every newspaper in the country gets the story, and that they will be held complicit in the crime.

No decent human being should tolerate the covering up of such heinous behavior. Reporting to your superiors does not absolve you of moral responsibility. I think of that poor child, being raped in that Penn State locker room. He should have been immediately taken to the hospital for treatment, counseling, and collection of evidence. Instead, he has had to live with the mental anguish of that and other incidents perpetrated on him by Jerry Sandusky…for years! It will be a miracle if the boy is ever mentally “right” again. How many more boys were similarly abused because Sandusky was free to abuse. That would not have happened if he was in jail.
  
Everyone at Penn State that saw or was told must therefore be considered complicit. It is a shame that Joe Paterno was as reluctant to become involved as everyone else. They all deserve punishment, but no punishment will be as physically or mentally painful as the abuse those little boys endured. 

Shame on all of you.

Elections: Don't be a Sheep. Educate Yourself before Voting!

It is that time of year again. The kids tripped over all the election signs as they made their Halloween rounds. What the heck, kids are durable. So what is frustrating me…the endless phone calls from individuals, and agencies, and organizations all telling me how and why I need to vote for them or their issue.
 
I suppose this is a good way to sway those who otherwise just don’t give a damn, but I do give a damn. I read, I watch the news, I weigh the pros and cons, I make up my mind. I don’t vote the “party line” either. I vote for what makes sense to me.

Don’t just listen to one side. Go read about the issue. Each side has a vested interest in having it their way. You need to figure out which way is most beneficial to the community and then vote your conscience. Issue 1, Issue 2 and Issue 3 are incredibly important. Don’t take someone else’s word for what’s best. Go the Ballot Board website, read the issues and the arguments for and against.  Then make up your own mind.  Don't let some lobbyist or neighbor or acquaintance make it up for you.

I really do not want someone else’s ideas, or ideals, or beliefs shoved down my throat. Calling my home to tell me how to vote is quite akin to that. I can choose not to read, I can turn off the TV, I can toss those political ads and flyers in the trash, but turning off my phone in my own home denies me the right to receive those calls I actually wish to have invading my personal time and space.

It is too bad that we don't have an Issue 4, a constitutional amendment that forbids campaigning by phone in Ohio. Perhaps next election.  Count me in for a “YES” vote on that one!

I tied with Jesus for 3rd Place!

The annual Halloween bash “officially named Scary Okee” at Your Vine or Mine was held last Saturday.  A grand time was had by all.  Nothing unusual about that, mind you.  The costumes were great!  Joe and Linda (who won first place) came as a Zanesville cop and a lion with a monkey on her shoulder.  It really was quite creative.  Second place went to Jacky Gilbert for his “Bad Santa” outfit.  Third place went to me and Jesus!  I was wonderfully outfitted in full scrubs, including booties, gloves, mask and headgear, a stethoscope and a lovely jar with a partial “brain” called “Abby Normal,” all necessary for Dr. Betsy, the brain surgeon.  I have to say I was truly honored to be recognized as the equal of Jesus, a giant of a man with full robes, hair and beard.  I am quite sure that I'll never manage to be his equal again. 

Will the real Alice Cooper please stand up?

The very first concert I attended was at Blossom Music Center, the year it opened. I won tickets to Judy Collins, so my older sister drove us to Blossom. It was a terrific show. The second concert I attended was Alice Cooper at the Akron Rubber Bowl. My friend Patty called and asked if I would go with her. I told my parents we were going to see some singer named Alice. At the time, I had no clue that Alice Cooper was a bizarre rock band. Color me oh-so-amazed when the performance began!

Of course, my opinion of some idiot prancing around on stage looking like a Halloween freak and calling himself Alice put him in the same category as Tiny Tim. The music was just not my cup of tea.

So when I attended a charity event and had the opportunity to have my picture taken with “Alice Cooper” I quite naturally jumped at the chance. Anyone who has lasted as long as he has in the business can’t be all bad!

Then I decided I should do a little research on the real “Alice Cooper” since I knew little or nothing about the man himself. I discovered a number of truly interesting facts about this long playing musician.

• His real name is Vincent Damon Furnier. He was born in 1948 in Detroit.
• The band took on the name Alice Cooper in 1968.
• He started performing as a solo Alice Cooper in 1975
• He still pays royalties to the members of the original band for use of the name…enough so that they all live comfortably.
• He had a run of acute alcoholism but has been rehabilitated and sober for years. He mentors and counsels other addicted musicians who need help.
• He’s been married since 1976 to a ballerina instructor and choreographer named Sheryl Goddard with whom he has 3 children.
• He tends to be non-political, but he is a born again Christian.
• Outside of music, Alice Cooper is an actor, an accomplished golfer, a restaurateur, and a radio DJ.
• He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2011.
• He hosts an annual charity golf event, the Alice Cooper Celebrity AM Golf Tournament, from which all proceeds go the Solid Rock Foundation, a Christian non-profit organization that helps troubled teens and children. It was formed by Alice Cooper and Chuck Savale in 1995.

And there you have it! The real Alice Cooper isn’t so bad after all. Guess I’ll keep the photo, and maybe even flaunt it a bit!

A week until Halloween...any costume ideas?

It is that time of year again…the time when sanity hides in the closet while I try to figure out what I can wear to the annual Halloween party this time around. Some of my more memorable outfits I’d rather not don again. One year I went to a party dressed as a can of Pepsi. I won’t go into too many details, but it did involve a bed sheet tacked to my living room wall while I hand painted a Pepsi Logo.

In more recent years, I have gone to parties as a Geisha, a Jawa, and Maleficent (the wonderfully evil queen from Sleeping Beauty). This year I wanted to go as Medusa, but my size sold out quickly and now I actually have to use my imagination to come up with something suitable (and darn if that snake headpiece wasn’t a show stopper!)

Right now, I am open to suggestions. Just remember that in spite of the obvious differences in the aforementioned costumes, they all have one thing in common…body camouflage. I pass on anything sleeveless, backless or showing leg above the knee. This will be subject to change AFTER the circumferential body lift, wing removal, breast reduction, thigh-plasty and neck lift! All those buxom serving wench and French maid costumes will just have to wait until well after all the surgery!

A Tough Week for Wildlife…

Staying within a 30-minute run for a cheetah from the animal compound in Zanesville gives one pause. I was happily ensconced in my rental for the night when the local news came on warning of the major exotic animal release. Law enforcement reacted quickly. It was necessary for them to do so. The farther afield these animals roamed from their habitat, the more danger existed for the public. It was very close to nightfall, and they needed to act before they were unable to see the animals. Tranquilizing was not an option, since animals often run for a bit before dropping, and if they happened to run into brush or woods, might have eluded the officials until the sedation was no longer effective.

I am not in favor of shooting animals, but in this case it was an absolute necessity. The entire blame for this exotic animal slaughter rests on the head of the man who released them. Did he really think that those animals would not be put down the minute the release was noticed? If he loved those animals as much as he claimed, he would have donated them to a zoo, where they could be cared for properly. If he had money issues, as was reported in today’s news, he could have sold them to pay his debts. But releasing dangerous animals on an unsuspecting public was definitely not in the animals’ best interests. I don’t rejoice in this man’s death, but it appears there is one less maniac for the world to tolerate.

Make that two. I certainly don’t rejoice in the death of any human being, but one can only hope that the world will be a better place without Moammar Gadhafi. I do think it is sickening to see video of the final moments, and the absolute celebration of his demise. I am grateful to live in a country where I hope to never see a level of repression so extreme as to incite my fellow Americans to celebrate the death of our former leaders, whether we personally liked or disliked them.