Thursday, March 7, 2013

Pop Tartillary

Just when you think things can’t get any more ludicrous, a 7-year-old kid is suspended from school because he "used food to make an inappropriate gesture."
What kind of gesture, you ask?  It must be pretty bad if he was suspended from school.  Did he chew his Pop Tart into the shape of a one-finger salute and wave it at the teacher?  Did he sculpt it into a phallic symbol, complete with a pair of gonads?  Did he carve it into a swastika? No.
He tried to make it into a mountain, and it ended up resembling a hand gun.  Was he threatening to shoot his classmates with his Pop Tartillary?  Again, no.
What we have is a very young, very artistic kid with a great imagination.  Undoubtedly, some school official or psychologist is going to brand this child as a future home-grown terrorist because the bites he took of his breakfast left a remnant of food that resembled a gun.  Even if he picked it up in gun fashion and pointed it, he was only doing what any 7-year-old kid would do.  There was no threat, there was no danger.  There was only pastry.
The only thing in that classroom in danger because of a half-eaten Pop Tart was the health of the kid who was eating it.
Zero tolerance policies have been shown, time and time again, to go well beyond their intended purpose when paranoid officials spin their interpretations. 
Then again, it was a "Pop" Tart...breakfast at its finest.