Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Urge to Purge...

Years ago, when I was much heavier than I am now, I used to joke that I was a “dysfunctional” bulimic.  It isn’t as if functional bulimia isn’t in itself a dysfunction.  I was “dysfunctional” because I had the binging half down pat, but I couldn’t manage the purging half to save my life.  Even today, no matter how miserable and sick I might feel, I just can’t manage to “purge” in such a fashion.

However, purging takes many forms.  I am convinced that my current need to purge my living and working spaces of extraneous paper, equipment, old and unused electronics, and power supplies for old cell phones is a desperate response to my feelings of chaos at work.

As my work life seemingly spirals more and more out of my control, I respond in greater kind by attempting to simplify my home environment.  I have an uncontrollable need for orderly, clean, and clutter free rooms.  I want to walk into a space and not be overwhelmed with “stuff” everywhere.

I feel the need for Zen-like peace and simplicity.  And so I am purging.  Now, if I could only achieve the Zen-like peace at work…