Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Down to the Wire

Well, it’s coming down to the wire. In an effort to keep my mind off things, like food, I left work early and went to Sam’s Club where four incredibly expensive tires were waiting to be mounted on my car. (How can they charge so much for simple rubber?)

“It will be several hours,” he said.


“Do it anyway,” I replied.


I shopped for a while, actually picking up a set of soft wooly pajamas as a Christmas gift and some yogurt (Activia for Mom, Chobani for me). I wanted to break a few of the yogurts open and down them in one sitting, but my metal and resolve to get the testing over with tomorrow stopped me from taking such a path. I’m even thinking I might actually have a little will power hidden in here somewhere. It was 2½ hours before they finally finished mounting the tires. I burned off 240 calories, ingested in the form of a Sprite, walking the aisles.


10 p.m.: I’ve had nothing to eat for 22 hours and it will be many more before anything solid crosses these lips.


Always the optimist and attempting to put a positive spin on this, I was thinking it might make a good jump-start for my preholiday diet…you know, the one where you proactively lose weight so that when you gain it back eating turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie, you (hopefully) end up where you started.


I do have another rather nefarious strategy. I call it The Reverse Diet. You bake goodies for your friends and keep them coming in a steady stream. They scarf them down, compliment your cooking, and gain weight. The more they gain, the smaller you appear!


7 a.m.: I got up with the chickens (5 a.m.) so that I could down the second half gallon of the clean-out juice. I flavored it with sugar-free Arizona Lemonade stix, so the taste wasn’t bad. But there is something about the consistency of this stuff that just makes me want to gag and heave!


I propose a Nobel Prize in science to the person who figures out a better, more convenient, and less disgusting way to accomplish this goal. At least the drinking part of this is over. I will post again this afternoon if I survive part II.